National Domestigraphic

Exploring The Great Indoors

March of the Peeps

Written By: alb3rt - Apr• 18•06

Over the last week I’ve noticed a drastic decline in the number of marshmallow animals. They were introduced into the preserve about a month ago, but don’t seem to take well to this environment. I think exposure to a more arid environment has made them less mobile and susceptible to predators.

They just seem to disappear in spurts. Many fear they will not make it to next week.

Peep Survey

I gathered a number of them to conduct a survey. They all seemed to suffer from varying degrees of stiffness and came in both bunnies and chicks of various colors. But they all share the same plight. I asked them why they were disappearing, but I don’t speak their native tongue which I was told was Peep. Ken translated for me.

They seemed to be divided into two diametrically opposed camps of thought. The ones on the right said there was no problem except for a media conspiracy making it an issue. The ones on the left blame it on climate changed caused by the economic policies of some sort of bush.

I am very confused.

My First Birthday Party

Written By: alb3rt - Apr• 17•06

Back at the desk.

It’s back to work today. I’m studying the recent fluctuations in the populations of chocolate and marshmallow animals. But first I want to share with you my birthday exprience at Outback Steakhouse.

Somehow I felt right at home. You call the tiny butter spreader at the dinner table a utensil? Now THAT’s a knife.

That's a knife!

I ate light to enjoy desert more. The whole local tribe even came out to sing for me and Ken helped me blow out the candles while his wife took pictures. Here’s a little slideshow Ken put together for my journal. I am a very happy bear.

Click here for slideshow.

{EDIT: Public Facebook photos can be found HERE.}

Happy Birthday to Me.

Written By: alb3rt - Apr• 12•06

Happy Birthday to Me.
Happy Birthday Dear Alb3rt.
Happy Birthday to Me.

Do I get cake? Ken and the game warden said they would take me out to dinner for my birthday in the next few days. That’s the kind of schedule people live on around here. I’m surprised they don’t celebrate Easter on a Monday.

Alb3rt in Exile

Written By: alb3rt - Apr• 01•06

For a few days now we have been recovering from a natural disaster. Ken calls this phenomenon “painting” and has caused displacement of many species, including myself. This is the first chance I have had to report it as Ken has been very busy with the computer.

Alb3rt in Exile

Here I am at Basecamp Beta, seen comforting one of the victims of relocation. We narrowly escaped from a toxic latex eggshell white precipitation. Talk about a brush with danger.

I’ve been nudged.

Written By: alb3rt - Mar• 21•06

In a virtual sort of way. One of my friends/fans reminded me I haven’t updated in a while.

That’s because I’ve been undercover.

I needed to get close to the wildlife without frightening them or even interfering in their natural behaviour in my presence. After some thought I borrowed a luau prop from Ken and used it as camouflage. It was perfect. It was portable and green, a standard color for such things.

Testing the Tree

I tested it out and everything seemed fine. Then I approached a pride of smallcats playing under a chair and stood really, really still.

Standing Really Really Still

They didn’t notice me, but did try to eat the tree. Repeatedly. I tried to tell them all that glitters is not edible but they didn’t pay any attention because I was also busy being really, really still. O, the conflict of science and ethics.


Written By: alb3rt - Feb• 16•06

We watched some interesting documentaries so far this year. The first was about penguins and I will review it another day. But last night we saw a film about the rare and elusive heffalump. Native to Heffalump Hollow, they each have their own distinct call when they are old enough and tend to get lost in the woods. The natives and the heffalumps are wary of one another and even try to capture one another but somehow they always end up friends.

For Valentine’s Day Ken bought his wife the warden a baby heffalump. The movie seemed a gesture to learn about its proper care but ended in more hugging the poor thing over and over than anything else. When I interview the creature I will inquire if this human reaction caused him to be comforted or traumatized.

Get Your Alb3rt Gear Here

Written By: alb3rt - Feb• 02•06

I have just been informed my online store is now live.

Love me. Wear me. Buy my stuff. I’m saving for a Jeep.

Click here.

The Black Bear in the Family

Written By: alb3rt - Jan• 17•06

Snugggs is always on the couch with us, but doesn’t say much. That is all.

Christmas for Alb3rt

Written By: alb3rt - Jan• 08•06

Ken said that he wanted to get me something for Christmas, but his wife the warden told him not to because someone else may have gotten me something already, and it was likely to be the same thing. Something he wasn’t going to tell me what it was. So Christmas came and went.

Then today I mysteriously received a phone call from a little girl named Virginia. She is the daughter of some friends of Ken and his wife the warden. It was an invitation for me and Fenway to come to a tea party. We of course accepted, polite bears as we are, but did not know what to expect. When we got there we first tested out the sofa and at once felt right at home.

Testing the couch.  Neckware provided by Ken's wife.

We had a lovely tea party, although the natives were clearly varied in their cultures.

Tea Time

I tired to communicate with them as I saw on the telly once, saying phrases such as “oo laka aka bimboom” and “walla walla washington.” They didn’t seem to understand but I could have swore a few of them nodded in approval. I believe Fenway and I am now members of the tribe.

Welcome to the Tribe.

Then there was an exchange of presents. To my delight I received none other than a camping tent! Exactly what I wanted.
Unwrapping the tent. Entering the tent. Being in the tent.

Santa didn’t forget this koala after all.

Happy New Year Australia!

Written By: alb3rt - Dec• 31•05

We still have a few hours to go over here.  And it’s really strange to be snowing this time of year.  It just doesn’t seem natural.  Welcome to the Northern Hemisphere.