Sorry it’s been so long checking in, but it has been a long, confusing time. It seems like ages since the alien fruits first appeared. We do not know if they came in peace. We do not know if they came due to the game warden’s apparently interstellar reputation for collecting fruit. All we know is that they came. And they stayed. Sort of.

Pressed from inclement weather and a cold, slow persistence, they eventually made it into the house. But what happened next is unclear. Below is an archival image of me with their leader before what would be less-than-fruitful negotiations.

They did not respond to negotiations, but instead let us place them wherever we could find room. There were no objections or alien insurgency. They just sat there as if they had been casually stopping by on a yearly pilgrimage to distant relatives to share stories of the previous seasons.

Or perhaps at the moment of their victory, they were defeated by the most humble organism on Earth. I think that would be the sponge. Or maybe a peanut. But whatever it was, it may have been their undoing. Within weeks, they started to petrify, while others disappeared. The few remaining specimens now lay as decorative trophies for the genetic victors, or perhaps a monument and testament to the harshness of the exploration of space .