I know you all have been wondering where I’ve been the last week or so. As evident from this photo taken of Fenway and myself, I’ve been on the couch.

But this is not being idle mind you. Alright, in this instance, we were relaxing after a particularly long baseball game. (They all seem particularly long, don’t they?) But based on observations of the rituals of the humans, Fenway has discovered that rubbing one of the flatroamers (see previous entry) somehow effects the behaviour of an unrelated and less animate object, the telly. From this we were able to watch all sorts of things, including a lot of baseball, which I enjoy, but do not understand. But more importantly, I was able to engage in continuing education by viewing lectures by Steve Irwin, the “Crocodile Hunter.” Incidentally, on his website it says that Koalas can sleep as much as 23 hours a day. I shall use this as an alternate excuse in the future for not updating my field notes journal.

From observing his technique, which he demonstrated time and again, I now know how to best exhibit each of the animals here to you, the viewer. The process is simple.

1. Search for an animal.
2. Follow, grab, and/or poke the animal until it illicits a response.
3. Discuss the response with a tone of excited fascination.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 until you are bitten, trampled, mauled, or get bored.
5. Move onto another animal, or take a commercial break.

I figured I would start with an easy target, Hastings Pudding, aka the smallcat who will talk to me. Here is a recalling of the events and subsequent conversation.

First, I approached him using one of a pair of cooking-size chopsticks.

Then I poked him.

Look at that reaction! He instantly went to sniff it when realizing he was threatened! No, he’s turning back to go to sleep! These creatures can sleep or unexpectedly sniff what’s poking them in the blink of an eye! Well, a slow blink, anyway! We better be careful!

I poked him some more, but it grew frustrating after a while. “Respond, wild beast! Respond! Respond, I say!”

Hastings finally asked what I was doing and why. I explained my end of the predicament, and he was recalcitrant to comply. However, he did promise he’d show his teeth if I waited around for him to yawn. So I got bored and moved onto the next animal. I shall recall that in my next entry. Consider this a commercial break. A Koala has to get his 23 hours of sleep after all.