The footage I am about to show you may be shocking. It is real. I filmed it myself and survived to bring back these accounts.

It started like any other Autumn day. Except weird shapes were spotted on the perimeter of the property. I climbed up to a window to get a good view, staying in the shadows. As suspected, they were some kinds of fruits, but not any kind I had seen before. They were not oranges, apples, pears, berries, or even quasi-fruits like bananas or strawberries. They had a variety of strange markings yet had one thing in common.

They didn’t belong out there. Within the world of known fruit taxonomy, they should not exist. They must be from outer space.

Perhaps the Warden chose our new preserve unwisely, an interstellar landing strip from ancient times. Maybe we did something to attract attention from out there. Maybe we had the Telly too loud. I this isn’t a time for blame. Even if Ken talks a bit too much about SETI. And keeps a telescope in the attic in view of the window. And has a statue of Yoda in his room.